Republicans Love Bic

Ink pens, that is. Nothing better than a Bic Round Stic. Must be black though. I refuse to write in blue ink. Once you go black, you never go back...and no, I'm not drunk. For reasons I shant discuss, I've put the bottle aside again. I'm just in a good mood for once. I'm so sorry for all the sad bastardness I posted Wednesday, and for all the sad bastardness I just posted for Poetry Thursday.

I was thinking here lately, about blogging and such. I go through these strange little phases where I want to quit blogging, and I run away and do nothing but drink an exorbitant amount of Peppermint Schnapps and watch hours of syndicated television. I think my problem is I just get really scared sometimes. I feel like blogs are these giant windows to my life. Like anyone who reads this is a peeping Tom, but in a welcomed, wanted, non-perverse type way. You're not watching me shower. You're watching me think. You're watching me write. But when I'm really depressed, I don’t want anyone to have to read that. I feel like a burden. The dog that goes off into the woods to die so his owners won't see him. So hence the drinking (hiding from myself) and not blogging, writing, reading (hiding from everyone else).

As if I matter in the grand scheme of things.

I realize I don't.

Still, that's no reason not to blog. I just want to be happy. And writing this like a diary, the way I used to, might help. It’s worth another try.

Again, I’m sorry for being so distant, down, and generally a mess.

Now who’s up for fifty questions?

I know I am. I couldn't sleep...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Your eyes are big.

2. How much cash do you have on you? Eighty bucks.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?” Whore.

4. Favorite planet? Pluto. The poor thing.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Cell phones are stupid and should be tossed in thy nearest gutter.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I don't mess with ring tones.

7. What shirt are you wearing? No shirt. Shiny gold nighty thing.

8. Do you “label” yourself? Yes! Thanks to Blogger Beta. ;)

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? No shoes.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Both...it's dark, but yesterday I strung up some green Christmas lights to be festive and inspire me, so now I'm in a magical little cave.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? She's great! Beautiful. Wonderful writer. Probably hates me. But I love her. She's one of those people I'll always care about, and never forget.

12. What does your watch look like? Puck watches. Who needs to know what time it is ALL THE TIME. Makes me nervous.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Midnight...I watched a movie, washed my hair, wrote three or four poems, and midnight was around there somewhere.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? Again, I don't mess with that stuff.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? An hour of so away.

16. What's a word that you say a lot? I cuss a lot. In a very casual, southern belle way.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My best friend...He thinks I'm tired of him, but I'm not.

18. Last furry thing you touched? Does Baby Girl count? I washed her hair before she went to bed.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Unless chocolate’s a drug, I've done nothing.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Two.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? Sixteen and Twenty-two.

22. Your worst enemy? Me, of course.

23. What is your current desktop picture? Zach Braff, in all his Scrubalicious glory!

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Out loud? Something about sex.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? I'd fly. I'd come see you. We'd sit on your porch and swing, and if I get there and find you don't have one, then we'll fly till we find one. We'll fly to the ocean and to the moon! We'll fly to Pluto and tell him, It's all right. We think you're a planet. Then we'll curl up and sleep on Pluto till the sun never rises and we freeze.

26. Do you like someone? I do.

27. The last song you listened to? Brothers on a Hotel Bed.

28. What time of day were you born? Four o' one. Saturday afternoon.

29. What’s your favorite number? Numbers are stupid.

30. Where did you live in 1987? This state. This town. The other end of this very highway.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? I'm jealous of all the girls who are thin because they haven't had kids yet, or they don't eat lots of candy like I do. Or they don't drink. Or they actually work out instead of lying on their asses watching old movies on TV.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? Probably not.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? High school.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Cuss and hit the God damn thing for taking my God damn money, you God damn piece of pucking trash!! I hate you! Give me my Sprite!!

35. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes. I love everyone, and I think of people all the time. Of what I'd like to say to them, and what I hope for them, and wonder what they're up to, if they're doing well. But so often, my own problems get in the way of actually showing that kindness. So no. I guess I'm not.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? No tattoos for me.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? French.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? If they lived somewhere nice and pretty.

39. Are you touchy feely? Not really.

40. What’s your life motto? When in doubt, say thank you.

If that doesn't work: apologize.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? A necklace. Freckles. Wide paranoid eyes.

42. What’s your favorite town/city? Conway.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A couple of Subway sandwiches.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Years ago. I've got Christmas cards going out soon though.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? He's in college. Still gorgeous. Still rich. Still hates me.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? I’m mainly French.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I dressed up last Saturday to go grocery shopping.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My back from sitting.

50. Have you been burned by love? Yes. Men like to leave me.