The Monster in the Mirror

Black high heels hit the blue carpet of the Austin Hotel. Down the hallway to her room, each step in perfect line with the one before it, and after, again and again. It's music to his ears as he follows close behind...

She opens the door and pulls him into a room full of friends. Boys, girls, all stretched out onto two made beds, in the floor, at the table and chairs near the window. She walks over to it, says, Anyone want to flash? Two other girls stand up, and they take off their tops. Press against the glass. The guys run over to check the reflections. She laughs and rebuttons. Crosses the room, one heel, then the other, perfect click-clacking as the eyes move with her. She gives ‘em the half-smile.

She grabs him by his arm. Breathes in his ear. Leads him to the bathroom, slams the door, locks it. Hops onto the counter.

F' me, she says, and laughs because she knows he's never had sex.

His blue eyes get wide, but her brown eyes are wider. Her lip bit. Her legs spread.

F' me, she says, though this time, she's not smiling or laughing. She's daring him.

You're drunk, he says.

And she grabs him by the shirt, reels him in.

I don't care, she says. And kisses him while their friends wait outside.

She loses all track of time. Her shirt. She feels the mirror on her skin. Her back. She turns and sees herself, sitting in that bathroom sink, drunk off her ass, literally; falling from the counter as he unzips his pants.

She reaches out, and misses. Tells him, I'm sorry, and passes out.

Waking up in a bed beside a stranger...another girl. She crawls from the sheets, and crawls to the bathroom, the floor she knelt on, only briefly. She throws up in the tub. Drinks scalding hot coffee. Tries to remember anything or anyone, but all she can hear are the words F' me, and see his blue eyes...

He tells her he didn't do it. No, not him: the perfect gentleman. He tells all the boys he did and they believe him because she's the one who paraded through the hotel room smiling.

It was only a half-smile, she says, laughing, reminding, but no one can hear her over the sound of her own heels...screaming F' me, reaching out, missing, again and again, with every step through the hotel lobby.

It's music to her ears.