What my Fortune Cookie Says...

So you've cracked me open and pulled out my insides. Good job, right from the start. Maybe you're not so stupid after all.

I suppose you're going to want to eat me after this? May I recommend that you don't. I was made in a warehouse full of germs and filthy hands, stuffed with this message written by a man in touch with the great beyond. It was dictated to him by some unseen power while he sipped coffee, smoked cigarette after cigarette, never once stopping to realize that this dictation was even taking place. But it did: he wrote the message, sent it to the warehouse. They printed it on the tiny white paper you're holding here now in your own filthy hands, along with me, or what remains, to soon be eaten, germs and all.

Did you enjoy your meal, by the way??

I'd hate to know what animal you just ate. I guess I'll find out soon. I'll ask while I'm down there. Hey General Tso, Who are you really, and what were you before? What did you do and what did you think?

Ha! You like Bogart? He's a big hit up there in the great beyond. They all get drunk and dictate messages to hack writers so people like you can have a smile at the end of their questionable meal.

You are going to read it now, aren't you? You want me to read it? Do you even know how to read??

Blink twice if you do, or how 'bout I just save you the energy: eating a pile of over-sauced "chicken" must have been so exhausting for you.

Let's get this over with...

Beneath men, you light fires that burn out and leave ash.

Try staying on top, instead.